The Aftermath of the Court
So As The case finally ended and I was completely relieved. Well Probation was still in tact and I served only 6 Months as I took a plea. So there were so many things I had to withstand which was my own guilt and also relief as I had mixed feelings. So Everyone Including My Eldest brother from Overseas finally got their money back. With the situation of Money died down as the case ended the direction would become mostly about me and looking back at me. So The process of probation had tons of ups and downs but it did had more downs than ups. As I was going to see counseling as I have been seeing even before trial and the whole arrest episode has happened. So after Trial and after going through the Probation it was quite a roller coaster. As it began with my mom criticizing me and now question if I have the abilities to resume life or get into school and get my life back on track. I have been having various thoughts based on everything around and everyone around me. At the time I was dependent on my brothers to build a breakthrough instead of figuring things out for myself and really all I was doing is just escaping instead of combating my main issues and fighting tooth and nail to deal with whatever I was criticized and upbraided for. So The Probation started rocky and as protective as my family was they were making sure I follow the Probation Procedure and as I paid my Probation Fees and even did some evaluation which was kinda for me and It really seems they was a lot of Self-Discovery I had to do. With an incident happening at my counseling to starting to go to the gym independently step by step. So after the months of Probation are up well we were still stuck as we are at the same time trying to overcome the aftermath of the situation. Well The sessions I had were repetitive and I was just aiming to get back into school and not focus on what has led to the unnecessary situations in the first place. I was guilty at first and then it just eventually led to anger and frustration even fear and setbacks and even lashing out, as I dealt with my mom's anger and over protection and fear. Had to go out with her everywhere and it finally began to build bit by bit by bit, I started to feel pushed around resigned and even feel like giving up and began to blame So I was circumventing the progress and not aiming to be above reproach and it has caught up to me. I was too busy telling them I can do it and getting defensive whenever I get criticized for my social behavior.
How did the 2016 Patriots connect with my journey?
So as Tom Brady began battling the case of the deflate gate, I was battling the Campus Gate where the case lasted for several months. So As I took my plea and serve the 6 Month Probation a year later Tom Brady took his 4 game suspension. Well I realize taking punishments can come in many ways and seemed like Tom Brady took his 4 game suspension very well where the 2 other quarterbacks stepped in and it really was impressive seeing how the Patriots really stand out as they won 3 of their first 4. Even the Defense did their major part to help them get the wins they need. As Tom Brady made his return he came back and helped the team win their last 11 out of 12. Despite their loss to The Seahawks they still had one of the biggest showdowns as the game ended in one of the closest games. So Patriots finished 14-2 and practically stormed right back in the Super Bowl overcoming the Texans and The Steelers. So The biggest challenge was Super Bowl 50 against the Surprising Atlanta Falcons. The game even spoke how big the mountain was to Climb as the Patriots allowed 21 Straight points in the 2nd quarter as Tom Brady pick 6 was a contribution to the 21 points allowed. As The Patriots only scored 3 points in the first half. It all seemed over where everyone was giving up and even throwing in the towel as the Patriots were just plainly viewed as just one of those run of the mill teams that would just Phone it in the rest of the game like in Super Bowl 48 where the Broncos did try but eventually phoned it in. As The Patriots did exert their attempt to fight back as they displayed their "Laser Focus" And Julian Edelman displayed his Relentless and mind you they did begin a major comeback after being down 3-28 and low and behold the comeback did happen and the entire narrative has changed. As the doubters and fans who have thrown in the towel has gotten a rude awaking when they nailed their comeback and then eventually sent the game to overtime as the Patriots won the game in OVERTIME!
On my end as my Probation ended I was still facing fear and doubt and there was still anger and the plan was to progress more slowly but my mom was holding back. As I was going through trial and I was going through probation and there were times where my mom's fear and confidence was tested. I was focused too much on how my mom felt and was not striving on how to be my better self. All I wanted to do was escaped the issue and the problem and not want to hear but problem was I was not at all tackling my own problems and why My family has been criticizing what I have been saying. After 1 outburst I finally let out how I have been feeling after trying to restrain it and for the last 2 months I was fed up and then I exploded. There were 2 different times my mom would call my counselor and complained about my outburst and one thing I do not like is how she explains it and downplay what I did. One thing I don't like what I did was become very defensive, make an outburst and allow myself to be dismissed and on top of that even not counter the conversation and explain my actions in a very firm but not overaggressive fashion. I messed up because after the conversation where my family was trying to throw me a bone and I blew it because I did not deal with my own challenges so it has led to my family taking their confidence and liberties back which means I lost those liberties and confidence. How I lost those liberties and confidence well To tell you where I was down 3-28 in my situation I been through many of my 3-28 situations from the days I was arrested to being in court, being in near eviction, and even the house I live in now we were so close to not purchasing the house. What did those things have in common? They involved perseverance and even time where we would feel down and out eventually We would have to put ourselves in a Position where we would always try to fight back or we can just give up and say it is over and be the defeated victims we are plotting to be. So The 1st Court Case that we had to endure 9 months of Court and as we won the case and I served 6 Months of Probation and yeah I was in fear of trial but you know I was glad I got through it looking back. Even During the Time we were near facing eviction we failed getting the other house reason was the seller refusing to sell the house, so we were on a hunt for a new house and Low and Behold I found a new house in which the house we live in right now there was a point we were not going to get the house and at 1 point we had to cut our losses and found another house, but eventually there was hope somewhere. Which means things began to come around as we eventually got the house and eventually made the closing and got it. The fact we went through the moving process and finally got there it was a major phenomenon. When we finally moved out of those two apartments where my family faced terrible management and gave us a hard time and then where I had my issues there. We finally moved into the new house and finally was so glad and I can even look back on how much growth we been through after those challenges.
What did I get out of all these challenges?
For me to be at 28 years old at the time and have 3 Court Cases this was my 3-28 story where I was trailing in the game. I was in the near of pleading guilty but right on my 29th birthday, the case was officially dismissed and we went through numerous turmoil as this court case lasted for over a year as the court did try to pursue a conviction and I did fail. So overtime I had to deal with my challenges of impulses and even irresponsibility and courage as well. I had to learn overtime how to control the narrative and show them I can do it and not Tell them even when they say you can't. One thing I have failed in was to be Laser Focus and learn how to have courage and deal with uncomfortable situations and be strengthened by. Learning this overtime was understanding the cause and effect and realizing how much work it takes it is almost like an alcohol addict where they had to do rehab and where the first step was admitting their issues. As I was battling my issues, I finally learned how to just be BOLD and on top of that learn how to be assertive and just deal with conflict when needed and start seeing the production of the situation. Understanding the process as well does really come a long way, as something I eventually had to understand but the process also comes with the work and not skip any steps, and on top of that playing the Rat Race. Let these challenges elevate you and bring out the best and not the worst in you.
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